Call me old-fashioned, but back in my day, movies needed to turn into actual hits to produce sequels. However, though 2016's Meet the Blacks didn't exactly ignite box offices, it inspired a second chapter.

Blacks brought in a mere $9 million in ticket sales, and it earned brutal reviews as well. Apparently the film cost under $1 million to make, so it turned a profit, but it remains a surprise that anyone thought it merited a sequel.

Whatever the case, 2021's pandemic-delayed The House Next Door: Meet the Blacks 2 exists. In the first film, Carl Black (Mike Epps) moved his family from Chicago to Beverly Hills in the hopes that they could escape crime and violence, but instead, they ended up terrorized.

Now an author, Carl decides to take his clan to Atlanta. There he hopes to find some peace and quiet in his childhood home that will allow him to complete his newest book.

When Dr. Mamuwalde (Katt Williams) moves in next door, however, matters immediately take a turn for the creepy. Carl starts to suspect Dr. Mamuwalde may actually be a vampire and he frets for the safety of his family.

As noted, even with minuscule box office receipts, the first movie turned a profit because it cost so little to make. House also comes with a tiny $3.5 million budget, but with ticket sales under $3 million, it lost money.

Does this mean we'll never get a Meet the Blacks 3? Let's hope so.

Given that I described the first movie as an "atrocity", one would assume that I went into House with low expectations, and one would assume correctly. Still, that didn't mean I figured the film would inevitably offer Atrocity Part Deux, as it was possible it could fare better.

Alas, House does nothing to improve on the abysmal stabs at comedy found in the prior flick. If anything, the sequel works even less well than its awful predecessor.

At least the first movie attempted something that felt current. That film acted as a spoof of 2013’s The Purge, so it gave us a parody with modern-day roots.

On the other hand, House feels years out of date, as the trend of vampire movies peaked years ago. It doesn’t help that the filmmakers throw out gags about Michael Jackson and Prince that imply those involved don’t realize both died years ago.

Laziness abounds in this clunker, as we find bizarre continuity problems. In the first movie, Carl and family clearly came from Chicago, but here they wind up in Atlanta, with the implication that the Blacks of the prior flick resided there.

Clear sign that no one involved gave two hoots: even the Blu-ray’s own plot synopsis claims that the story takes place in Chicago! Did the person who wrote it not actually watch the film?

Other weird issues occur. One minute, we get told Carl’s book was a best-selling hit, and then the next, we find the implication that the tome bombed.

A movie made by competent adults shouldn’t provide so many confusing lapses of continuity. Given that House comes from highly experienced filmmakers, the sloppiness befuddles.

If House came with even the slightest hint of cleverness or wit, I wouldn’t mind these goofs, but instead, the flick just revels in terrible “jokes”. If anything even vaguely funny occurs here, it escapes me.

Instead, we find a movie that revels in crude, mean-spirited “humor”. Are we really supposed to laugh at jokes made at the expense of a character in a wheelchair? And House makes fun of two disabled guys, so it doubles down on its ugliness.

It doesn’t help that the entire movie comes populated with relentlessly unlikable roles. From Carl on down, each and every character seems like a crude, angry jerk, and not a single one proves sympathetic.

I find it stunning that a collection of professionals could make a film as bad as House. Nothing here works, as we wind up with a witless, mean-spirited disaster.

Footnote: a tag scene appears during the end credits.

The House Next Door: Meet the Blacks 2 appears in an aspect ratio of approximately 2.39:1 on this Blu-ray Disc. For the most part, visuals were positive.

Overall sharpness seemed fine. A little softness impacted a few nighttime shots, but in general, delineation remained appropriate, if not great.

I saw no moiré effects or jaggies, and edge haloes didn’t appear. Print flaws also never became a factor.

The film tended toward subdued hues that mixed teal and amber. These colors remained restrained and looked fine given stylistic choices.

Blacks seemed dark and tight, and low-light shots brought us reasonable clarity. They could be a little dense but not to a significant degree. This became a satisfactory presentation.

Heavy on atmospherics, the film’s DTS-HD MA 5.1 added a little kick to the proceedings. Action shots showed nice involvement, and a few other sequences opened up the mix well enough. The movie lacked many standout auditory moments, but the soundfield created a decent sense of place.

No issues with audio quality emerged. Speech was natural and smooth, while music offered good range and dimensionality.

Effects came across as accurate and tight. Again, the track lacked a lot to make it excel, but it fit the story well enough.

A few extras flesh out the disc, and we begin with an audio commentary from writer/director Deon Taylor, producers Roxanne Avent and Omar Joseph and actors Lil Duval, Bresha Webb, Zulay Henao, Tyrin Turner, Katt Williams and Cory Zooman Miller. All sit together for this running, screen-specific look at… not much.

Oh, we occasionally get production-related nuggets such as notes about sets/locations, costumes, photography and whatnot, but these comments remain infrequent. Instead, we find lots of praise for the film and participants plus plenty of laughter.

All involved clearly think they created a comedic masterpiece, as they chortle at everything they see. That gets old quickly, and not just because I can’t figure out what they find funny about this awful film.

In addition, we get a surprising amount of dead air, especially for a commentary with nine participants. How can so many people have so little to say?

I don’t know, but the track offers a shocking lack of actual content. A terrible movie spawns a useless commentary.

Two featurettes follow, and Meet the Dope Cast runs nine minutes, 41 seconds. It includes notes from Taylor, Henao, Webb, Williams, Avent, Joseph, Duval, Miller, and actors Mike Epps and Snoop Dogg.

As expected, we get notes about the movie’s actors. As expected, we find virtually nothing but praise for all involved.

Paving a New Way lasts seven minutes, 25 seconds and features Taylor, Avent, Taylor. Epps, Dogg and Joseph. They discuss the movie’s production company and pat themselves on the back a lot for their success.

A collection of Bloopers spans five minutes, eight seconds. These mix goofs/giggles with improv bits, so fans may enjoy the latter.

Finally, we find eight Deleted Scenes. These take up a total of 14 minutes, 45 seconds.

Though these attempt some comedy, they tend to focus more on exposition and character material. Nothing especially memorable emerges, so they don’t add anything much.

If you expect The House Next Door: Meet the Blacks 2 to better the first film, abandon all hope. As bad as the prior flick was, the sequel seems even dumber and uglier. The Blu-ray comes with generally positive picture and audio along with a smattering of bonus materials. Nothing about this awful film succeeds.