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Sharon Osbourne, Jack Osbourne, Kelly Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne
Writing Credits:

WARNING: Totally Uncensored!
Not Rated.

2-Disc set
Standard 1.33:1
English Dolby Surround

Runtime: 210 min.
Price: $
Release Date: 3/4/2003

• Unaired Footage
• "Too Oz for TV" Blooper Reel
• Ozzy's Ten Commandments
• Never-Before-Seen Interviews with Cast On Subjects Like: Family Values; Ozzfest; Life on the Set of The Osbournes; The "Untold Story" From Michael the Security Guard
• Episode Commentary Track With the Osbourne Family
• Ozzy Translator
• Season Highlights
• Name That Dookie
• Edit A Scene
• Osbournes Bingo
• DVD-ROM Features: Food Nuisance Arcade Game; Guide to the Osbournes; Website Links


Search Products:

TV - Mitsubishi CS-32310 32"; Subwoofer - JBL PB12; DVD Player - Toshiba SD-4700; Receiver - Sony STR-DE845; Center - Polk Audio CS175i; Front Channels - Polk Audio; Rear Channels - Polk Audio.


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The Osbournes: The First Season - Uncensored (2002)

Reviewed by David Williams (March 3, 2003)

In the 70’s, he was the front man for the heavy metal band, Black Sabbath.

In the 80’s, he reinvented himself a bit and gained some mainstream acceptance as a solo artist.

In the 90’s, he was still going strong and was one of the few artists to survive the heavy metal fallout of the late 80’s brought on by the “hair band” invasion.

Now, in the 21st century, he’s the star of his own reality show on MTV, The Osbournes - one of the most popular shows on cable television during its inaugural season.

The show was given birth via an episode of “MTV Cribs” that took place in Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne’s home. When the footage aired and was seen by MTV execs, it received such an incredible response that they decided to do an entire series about the family. (This was during the “reality TV” glut that is/was responsible for cramming the airwaves with enough crap to fill the Osbourne’s Beverly Hills mansion. Unfortunately, it only seems to be getting worse.) Surprising to some – and not to others – the show became an instant hit and remains one of the most watched shows in the network’s history.

The show follows the odd family life of geriatric rocker Ozzy Osbourne; his wife/manager, Sharon; and their two teenaged children, Jack and Kelly. (Another daughter declined to be on the show and have her life taped for the series.) Aside from the millions of dollars in the bank and the “rock star” lifestyle that the family lives, they’re a lot like you and me and the show does a good job of presenting that, as we are given front row seats to some of the rather mundane things that go on day in and day out in the Osbourne household. Jack and Kelly argue like most siblings do; Ozzy has trouble with the remote control; Mom washes the dishes and dishes out candid advice; they are constantly cleaning up after their pets; Kelly wants to get a tattoo; Jack goes off to camp; and the family fights with their neighbors.

However, Mom and Dad don’t go to the office like most parents do, as the Osbournes have had - and still have - anything but your typical day job and therein lies the hilarious peculiarity that the show provides; the day-to-day life of a rock star family. Ozzy is showing signs of years and years of alcohol and drug abuse and comes across as lovingly senile; Sharon has the biggest balls in the household and the mouth of a sailor as a result of dealing with artists and industry suits in the heavy metal/alternative genre for many years; and Jack and Kelly have no concept of reality, as the issues that these kids of multi-millionaires complain about are quite silly when stacked against problems that most kids their age face. Ultimately however, although vulgarity and weirdness abound, it’s quite clear that these family members love each other unconditionally and at the end of the day that’s really all that matters. A true, enthusiastic love between family members seems to be in short supply these days and rock star or not – weird or not – it’s refreshing to see.


Episode One – A House Divided (First Aired: March 5, 2002)

The family moves in to their new mansion in Beverly Hills and we meet Ozzy; Ozzy’s wife and manager, Sharon; and his two spoiled rotten kids, Kelly and Jack. While moving in, many of the hurdles the family faces are some we can all relate to, while others can only be realized by the outlandishly rich and famous Osbournes. We see some manifestations of sibling rivalry between Kelly and Jack and learn that Ozzy has a hard time figuring out his new hi-tech remote. Ozzy is also making preparations to appear on “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno”.

Episode Two – Bark at the Moon (First Aired: March 12, 2002)

In this episode, we meet the multitude of family pets and the baggage they carry along with them. So much so in fact, that a pet therapist/trainer is called in to help with all of the problems. We learn that the pets are having a hard time adjusting to the new house and are crapping on the floor, messing up the furniture, and just all around misbehaving. Ozzy feels that simply letting the pets out in the morning would cure the problem of them using the house as one giant crapper, but Sharon insists on using the therapist.

Episode Three – Like Father Like Daughter (First Aired: March 19, 2002)

Ozzy, Sharon, and Kelly head to New York City on a publicity tour that includes appearances on “Late Night With Conan O’Brien” and MTV’s “TRL”. Meanwhile, Jack is at a “hippie” camp and is loathing every minute of it and decides to come home. The family celebrates Kelly’s 17th birthday and she gets a tattoo in order to mark the occasion. This doesn’t sit well with Ozzy and he absolutely freaks out over Kelly’s recently acquired body art.

Episode Four – Won’t You Be My Neighbor (First Aired: March 26, 2002)

We learn a little too much about Kelly’s upcoming OBGYN appointment and the Osbourne clan gets a little agitated at their neighbors because they are blasting loud music at all hours of the night. (Forget the fact that Ozzy’s music being played loudly at all hours of the night across this country is more than likely responsible for more than its fair share of ‘disturbing the peace’ calls.) Sharon, in true form, verbally abuses the neighbors and lets it all hang out in an outdoor argument with them. Sharon and Jack start hurling bagels into the neighbor’s yard and this gets them a visit from the local police. They are left off with a warning and as soon as the cops leave, the Osbournes continue their culinary assault on the neighbors. When Ozzy joins in, he chunks a log and throws it through their neighbor’s window.

Episode Five – Tour of Duty (First Aired: April 2, 2002)

Ozzy heads out on tour and shoots a music video spoofing the “Lady Marmalade” one from Moulin Rouge. (There are some pretty funny behind-the-scenes clips from the shoot included.) In order to prepare for the tour, he enlists a personal trainer to whip him in to shape. Ozzy gets upset with Sharon over a couple of things while touring – first, he feels that she has booked too many of his gigs too close together and he won’t get much rest in between shows; second, he’s not really thrilled about a bubble machine that’s going to be used in one of his shows. (This provides one of the best lines of the entire series – Listen for “the prince of f’in darkness” line. Hilarious!) Kelly and her mom go on a huge shopping spree and Kelly thinks she has lost her dad’s gold card. Jack works on getting his record label off the ground.

Episode Six – Break A Leg (First Aired: April 9, 2002)

While Ozzy is out on tour, he suffers a leg/foot injury and he and Sharon find out that the Nanny is having a hard time dealing with Jack. When Ozzy and Sharon return home, they find their kids partying a little too much and having way too many friends over at all hours of the night. This calls for a family meeting, with Ozzy stressing the importance of staying clean from drugs and alcohol – he literally implores his kids to learn from his past mistakes. Kelly gripes that their family life is radically different from anyone they know and therefore, it’s hard on them to be normal. (Poor Kelly!) Jack, brat that he is, walks out of the family pow-wow and Kelly seems to be slightly affected by the talk and agrees that she’ll try to change.

Episode Seven – Get Stuffed (First Aired: April 16, 2002)

Ozzy is surprised with a family birthday party in Chicago while he’s on the road touring and unfortunately, his foot injury is causing him some grief. He’s taking a few too many pills and washing it down with a little too much alcohol in order to deal with the pain. Kelly and Jack continue their childish rants – this time, Kelly is upset that Jack’s “music career” is getting more play than hers. (After her debut album, does anyone even care?!?) Ozzy tries to cool things off a bit without much luck.

Episode Eight – No Vagrancy (First Aired: April 23, 2002)

Enter Dill – Jack’s brain-fried skater friend whose best friends seem to be Jack Daniels and Mary Jane. (Wink. Wink. Nod. Nod.) He causes quite a bit of friction in the household when he makes himself a little too much at home and overstays his welcome. Dill agrees to leave and unbeknownst to him, Jack is losing two friends at once as Ozzy gives Lola (the dog) away without Jack’s knowledge. After another one of Jack’s bitch fits, Ozzy ultimately caves in and allows the dog back in the house under the terms that Jack must do a better job of caring for the dog.

Episode Nine – Very Ozzy Christmas (First Aired: April 30, 2002)

While in New York, the Osbournes receive word that their security guard, Mike, has been arrested. Once home, the family’s attempt a traditional Christmas dinner ends with rather predictable results – lots of screaming arguments. Jack is gifted a knife and Ozzy takes it away from him and Jack acts like a complete ass when it happens. (The way this kid acts with and around firearms and weapons is scary – Jack shouldn’t hold a water pistol, much less a knife or gun.)

Episode Ten – Dinner With Ozzy (First Aired: May 7, 2002)

The first season ends as we get to sit in on an intimate dinner with the Blizzard of Oz. Over a candlelit dinner, Ozzy opens up on such things as his childhood, his career, and life with his family. He admits he knows nothing of a “normal” family life and is just doing what he thinks in right in raising his kids. At the end of the show, we see Ozzy as he gets his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame and then we’re treated to highlights from the first season.

And there you have it … Quite an interesting journey we’ve been on with the Osbourne clan over 10 episodes and while I enjoy a lot about the show, there’s a lot I despise too. #1 being Jack and Kelly – these two kids are so spoiled, they have no idea what it’s like for most of us who live in the “real world”. I would seriously like to beat the hell out of the both of them, shake them vigorously, and get them to realize just how great they’ve got it. They absolutely have no clue how lucky they are and it’s unfortunate, because they have every advantage in the world afforded to them. A crisis to them would be a welcome change in most of our lives and it just sickens me to see how immature they are at times over the smallest thing.

The second thing that gripes me is Sharon. I have never seen anyone complain more about being in the spotlight, yet do everything in their power to put (and keep) themselves there. I understand it’s the managerial side of her making sure Ozzy gets his due in life – and if anyone’s due, I believe Ozzy would be towards the top of my list - but enough already! This family has become so commercialized that they’re becoming to look and smell like a den of whores. Pepsi commercials? Invites to the White House? A compilation CD? A companion book? What’s next? Ozzy tootpaste? Ozzy dog treats? Calm down Sharon – we get it.

While I don’t uphold the Osbournes as the latest and greatest portrait of family values, I admittedly enjoyed the voyeuristic glimpse at their very unusual lives. I think that they’re the real deal and what we saw on the show is more or less an accurate picture of how things really are in their home. While I’d still like to kick Jack’s ass and slap Kelly one or two good times across the chops for being so whiny, overall, I ashamedly enjoyed the show and have occasionally peeked in on what’s happening with Season Two. And regardless of what happens, we as a country can take find a positive glimmer of hope in a show like The Osbournes. No matter how crazy or dysfunctional your family seems, one look at this family will make you feel warm, fuzzy, and very, very normal.

Miramax has put out a great DVD set for Season One and fans of the Osbournes and their show on MTV will really get a kick out of it.

The DVD Grades: Picture B- / Audio C+ / Bonus B+

Miramax presents the first season of The Osbournes in its original aspect ratio of 1.33:1. Things look much like they did on TV, as the series was shot like most other reality shows you’ve seen where a camera follows someone’s every move. This type of camerawork and/or genre doesn’t really lend itself to stunning images and therefore, given the fact that this is a reality show, The Osbournes: Season One looks as good as expected.

The quality of the image is fine and is quite stable all things considered. Sharpness and detail are little more than average and given the presence of grain and shimmer on occasion, the image tends to go a bit soft from time to time. Colors are a bit strong from time to time and seem to be a little brightly contrasted – including Kelly’s pink hair - but it’s not enough to distract you by any means. Smearing and bleeding were never an issue and black levels were appropriately deep and dense, showing only the occasional bit of softness.

As I stated earlier, grain was noted on several occasions and I also saw a few instances of shimmer and compression artifacting through the ten episodes as well. Nothing overly serious, but easily spotted nonetheless. Other, more serious flaws, weren’t noted at any time and when taken as a whole, The Osbournes looked pretty good.

Well, it’s gonna be kind of hard to think of anything exciting to write about the audio here. What we get is The Osbournes: Season One in a Dolby Digital 2.0 Surround mix that sounds just OK for the material at hand. Any of you that have seen the show know that the mics are only there to pick up what any of the family members might say and nothing more and therefore, this type of “reality” television doesn’t really lend itself to anything impressive on the audio front.

There were no effects or impressive moments to speak of and all I can really tell you is that the dialogue comes through crisp, clear, and completely vulgar at all times. Dynamics and fidelity are average and separation in the front surrounds is rather non-existent. However, while it’s nothing to write home about, it gets the job done and fans of the series won’t have much to complain about.

Miramax has also included are English Closed Captions, as well as French subtitles.

Miramax has provided a nice plethora of extras for us to check out in this two-disc set for The Osbournes: Season One. While none are intellectually stimulating by any stretch, there are admittedly a few moments contained within that’ll make you chuckle and everything is completely breezy to work through.


As part of the extras, after we choose an episode to view, we are presented with a few choices that will supplement our viewing. We can simply watch the episode as is - unedited; watch the episode with an Ozzy Translator turned on - nothing more than some helpful subtitles that pop up on the screen every time Ozzy speaks; a Commentary (for the first nine episodes only) which I’ll go in to more detail later; and finally, with Language Censoring. While I have the uncensored version of the series, it’s just not as fun in this case to hear the actual curse words as it is to hear the bleeps – it’s simply funnier to me to hear the high-pitched beep instead for whatever reason – it’s part of what I liked about the show to begin with. It reminds me a lot of South Park. While it was funny to actually hear the kids curse in the movie, I don’t think I’d want to hear it week in and week out – the beeps are as much a part of the show as are Cartman, Stan, and Kyle.

Back on the subject of Commentaries, we get a feature length commentary from Sharon and Jack Osbourne on the first nine episodes of the series and they all happen to be on Disc One. The commentaries are occasionally interesting, but after watching 5 ½ - 6 hours of the Osbournes, you really could care less what Sharon and Jack have to say – you’ve kinda had enough already. There are some nice anecdotal moments that pop up here and there, but for the most part, it gets harder and harder to swallow. The commentaries are rather sporadic – with large gaps of silence from time to time – and unfortunately, there’s just not a while lot new to glean from what Sharon and Jack have to say about the show.

The only listed supplement other than DVD-ROM material on the first disc is a DVD Bingo game. In order to play the game, you can print out bingo cards provided on the DVD, or go to a website that’s listed in the instructions of the extra and print them out over the web. Then, as you watch an episode, an icon will appear on the bottom portion of your screen as something “big” is happening – i.e. someone swearing, fighting, breaking something, or whatever – and then you cross of the corresponding icon on your card. After getting four icons marked off in a row, you call “Osbourne Bingo!” and start over again. Doesn’t sound real fun to me, but if you’re interested, the option exists for you to give it a whirl.


Bonus Footage contains unaired footage from the show and it is broken down by episode. For whatever reason, there’s no extra footage for the first episode, but all subsequent episodes contain extra stuff. You can select the footage by episode and here are your choices: Episode 2: Bark at the Moon (3 sub-selections; “Precariously Perched Puss” – 25 seconds, “Was It Someone We Hate?” – 13 seconds, “Vietnamese Peasants Hat” – 26 seconds); Episode 3: Like Father Like Daughter (4 sub-selections; “Rock Versus Vaudeville” – 11 seconds, “Ozzy’s Wasted PSA” – 17 seconds, “Loveline” – 21 minutes 5 seconds, “X-Ray Album Cover” – 52 seconds); Episode 4: Won’t You Be My Neighbor (3 sub-selections; “Anthrax For The Neighbors” – 11 seconds, “Neighbor Battle Rages On With Special House Guest Dill” – 17 seconds, “Kelly’s F*ck Buckle” – 20 seconds); Episode 5: Tour of Duty (5 sub-selections; “Mom and Dad Need Loivn’ Too” – 44 seconds, “Bats Vs. Chicken” – 31 seconds, “Nitro Burning Midget Car” – 47 seconds, “Uncensored Ozzy Butt” – 5 seconds, “Killing Real Midgets” – 1 minute 5 seconds); Episode 6: Break A Leg (6 sub-selections; “Ozzy’s Dreamscape” – 42 seconds, “Jack’s Wild Life” – 15 seconds, “Crazy Dave on the Beatles” – 20 seconds, “Jack’s Birthday” – 56 seconds, “Gay Family Night” – 2 minutes 45 seconds, “Montage Before Show” – 19 seconds); Episode 7: Get Stuffed (4 sub-selections; “Ozzy on Thanksgiving” – 17 seconds, “Jack’s Side of the Story” – 1 minute 16 seconds, “Ozzy’s New Birthday Dog” – 17 seconds, “Demon Kids Through Trees” – 21 seconds); Episode 8: No Vagrancy (4 sub-selections; “Dill at FedEx” – 1 minute 25 seconds, “Not Cactus Juice” – 40 seconds, “Female Hitler of Puppies” – 31 seconds, “Jack Talks Custody” – 52 seconds); Episode 9: Very Ozzy Christmas (4 sub-selections; “Seeking Square Pool” – 29 seconds, “What’s The Time?” – 1 minute 7 seconds, “Fireman Osbourne” – 1 minute 7 seconds, “A Guy Walks Into A Bar” – 15 seconds); and finally, Episode 10: Dinner With Ozzy (7 sub-selections; “Bullet in Kelly’s Leg” – 49 seconds, “Marilyn Manson Speaks” – 35 seconds, “Ozzy on Sharon” – 32 seconds, “Ozzyisms” – 27 seconds, “What?” – 16 seconds, “Never Happens Again Twice” – 56 seconds, “More Ozzyisms” – 20 seconds). Whew! As an added bonus, Miramax has also added a “Random” feature that will play the clips outside of their episodic order.

Next up are some Conversations With The Osbournes and included are four sub-selections with the first being “Life on the Road” (9:33). Here Ozzy, Sharon, and other family members discuss what it’s like being a rock-and-roller, constantly touring, and being on the road so often. While a little too much of the conversation revolves around taking craps on the tour bus, there’s a lot of interesting and insightful material here and we learn a lot about Ozzy and Sharon’s husband/wife/artist/manager relationship. Very interesting stuff.

Next up is “Family Values” (10:05) and again, Ozzy and family discuss their take on “family values” and go into some detail on how absolute openness and brutal honesty have worked well for their particular family dynamic. Different aspects of familial relationships are discussed in as much detail as you can fit in to a 10-minute feature and ultimately, this was a nice addition to Miramax’s set.

Following is “First Season Stories” (17:57) and here, the family provides some very interesting and engaging discussions on subjects related to their reality show. They cover such topics as how the show was pitched to the studios, what it was like and how difficult it was living with all of the cameras in the house, what it feels like having your life taped and shown on television, the success of the show and how it has changed their lives, and so on. This was a great supplement and a lot of fun to check out.

Last up is ”The Untold Story of Michael the Security Guard” (0:59). As told by Michael himself, we hear what happened to him when he was arrested and accused of breaking in to someone else’s home in the area. As expected, it was a misunderstanding and Michael seems to have taken it all in stride.

There’s also a –PLAY ALL- feature included here that will run the different selections as one continuous feature.

This section also contains an Easter Egg (3:57) that introduces us to the newest member of the Osbourne clan, Rob - the “adopted” family member who moved in with the family when his mother died of cancer. Rob discusses what it’s like living with the Osbournes and how he was originally introduced to the family, while Kelly and Sharon give us a little background on the relationship as well. To access this egg, you’ll notice a drawing of a small child at the bottom right-hand corner of the menu and some writing above it that says “Hi Newborn”. Highlight the image of the baby, click –ENTER-, and away you go.

”Too Oz For TV” Blooper Reel (5:32) is simply a long running blooper reel of moments from the first season that didn’t quite make it to air. Much like stuff you’ve seen on the Real World, there are a few shots of cameramen falling and bumping in to things, more footage Jack acting like an a$$hole, as well as more generic bloopers and vulgarity from the family.

Next up are some Season Highlights (17:30) that are broken down into five different selections – “Ozzy’s Fatherly Advice”, “Sharon’s Motherly Advice”, “Kelly’s Top Moments”, “Jack’s Top Moments”, and “Lola’s Top Moments”. These may be selected individually, or you may watch them all in succession by using Miramax’s handy –PLAY ALL- selection. Oddly enough, when you make your selection for the family member you’re interested in, there are more sub-selections under that family member and no -PLAY ALL- selection is offered. Obviously, this is nothing more than a rehash of scenes from the series itself and all of the “moments” are rather short in and of themselves. It’s hard to consider this an extra since the footage is included elsewhere, but it’s nice to have these “best-of” moments easily accessible in one spot.

Following are Ozzy’s Ten Commandments (1:29); a somewhat amusing segment where Ozzy offers up some advice on what we should strive for in life. What he fails to realize is that 99.99% of us aren’t even close to his level of income – although I’d certainly like to be.

There’s a Photo Gallery full of still images, as well as some Set Top Games that include “Name That Dookie” (a game where you match a piece of dog crap with the dog that produced it – thankfully no human family members contributed any) and “Edit A Scene” (an extra where you are allowed to piece together your own scene based on provided footage). Each of these games come with ample instruction on the DVD and ultimately, didn’t hold my interest for very long.

Last up, there is some DVD-ROM content that includes some web links and a guide to the show, as well as a very nice Insert Booklet that contains some good information on the show, as well as chapter listings.

Not too shabby considering series like this usually don’t get this type of treatment. Miramax has added some substantive extras to this 2-disc set and fans of the Osbourne family should get more than their fill of the family by the time they’ve worked through this set. Nice job.

If you’re a fan of the show, has Miramax got a DVD set for you! This is a perfect way for those of you who enjoyed the show to relive it again and again – with a few added extras along the way. However, for those of you who just aren’t sure what you think about this set and were only slightly amused by the show, I’d say a weekend rental would be a good first step. It’s a good set, but your love of the Osbourne family is gonna have a lot to do with how well it’s received.

Viewer Film Ratings: 3.8378 Stars Number of Votes: 37
13 3:
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