If timing is really everything, then what should we make on Playboy’s Girls of World Soccer DVD? The magazine ran a pictorial with the same models in their July 2006 issue, a release that intentionally coincided with that summer’s World Cup. So why didn’t the DVD come out around the same period to connect to World Cup fever?

I have no clue, but as far as I’m concerned, hot naked women are timeless, so I don’t mind the odd release date. Soccer features 14 models from various international locations. In addition to Tiffany Selby of the USA, we meet Britain’s Kate D’Arcy, Germany’s Janine Habeck, France’s Ophelie Marie, Japan’s Christina Linehan, Ukraine’s Natasha Kasakova, Romania’s Oana Bercaru, Korea’s Pa-Ni Lee, Russia’s Anna Starykh, Brazil’s Estella Pereira, Hungary’s Hajnalka Hornyak, Croatia’s Maja Herdoman, Mexico’s Andrea Parolo and the Netherlands’ Olga Urashova.

Like many recent Playboy videos, Soccer follows a semi-documentary format. We get various soundbites from the models about their experiences and their backgrounds, and we see aspects of their photo shoots. That means we also hear remarks from folks like Hugh Hefner, photographer Arny Freytag, and photo editor Marilyn Grabowski.

Other aspects of the program show the models at play. They romp and party at the Playboy Mansion, the location used for the photo shoots. This puts them in spots like the grotto, the pool, and among various exotic animals.

I can never quite decide how I feel about the semi-documentary format. On the positive side, it’s more interesting than the silly scenarios often forced upon Playboy models. If you check out older Playboy shows – or the Playmate Calendars - we see the women act out premises and get stuck in glorified music videos. I prefer the sense of reality that comes with the modeling shots or the “slice of life” segments we often see.

On the other hand, the format means less nudity than usual. I may not like the goofiness of the calendar skits, but at least they give us plenty of skin. That’s the reason we buy these DVDs, and it comes in shorter supply during Soccer and its ilk. I don’t really want to hear from the photographers or see anything other than hot, unclad women when I watch these DVDs, so those moments act as intrusions. Many other Playboy DVDs compensate with supplements that focus on the women alone. Since that doesn’t happen for the extras-free Soccer, the format becomes more annoying.

Still, I think it works fine for the most part, so Soccer will live or die with its models. With 14 to choose from, we get a lot of variety, and we find a few true winners. Germany’s Habeck is the clear cream of the crop. She also appears in the US magazine as the September 2006 Playmate, and she’s simply amazing. She boasts a perfect natural body, a great face, and a general sense of sex appeal. I’d love a full DVD of just her – she’s a winner.

Other great models include Britain’s D’Arcy as well as Ukraine’s Kasakova, Brazil’s Pereira, Romania’s Bercaru, and Croatia’s Herdoman. All are gorgeous but also all look like real people, not plastic lab creations.

Disappointments? Both Hungary’s Hornyak and France’s Marie stand at the top of that list, primarily due to their terribly overinflated implants and artificial Barbie appearance. Couldn’t we Americans get somebody better than another fake blonde like Selby?

Japan’s Linehan also suffers from crummy fake breasts, though she’s less plastic looking in general. Unlike the other models, however, she doesn’t actually seem to come from the country she represents. Oddly misidentified as “Christine” Linehan, she’s apparently from Hawaii. She may have some Japanese heritage, but my Mom was Irish, and nobody from Lucky Charms has recruited me for the cereal box.

Despite these less appealing models, Soccer include so many women that you’re sure to find your own favorites. That definitely helps make this a decent program. It packs a lot of hot women into a small space, and it could use greater time to show them to us. Still, Soccer is a reasonably satisfying sampler of international babes.

Odd footnote: when you watch this program, it’s titled Girls of World Football. Yeah, I know that’s the name people outside of the US use for the sport, but it seems strange to find on the DVD here. We also find a mix of typos among the onscreen text, such as when we’re told a model is from “Hungry”.

Playboy’s Girls of World Soccer appears in an aspect ratio of 1.33:1 on this single-sided, single-layered DVD; due to those dimensions, the image has not been enhanced for 16X9 televisions. Shot on video, the production varied from pretty good to weak.

Sharpness seemed erratic. A lot of the shots were reasonably concise and well-defined, but more than a few exceptions occurred. The program appeared acceptably crisp for the most part, but this failed to become a rule. Some blurriness happened because of the loose nature of the shoot; a number of poor focus choices occurred. The worst images appeared during the interior elements, as they often looked fuzzy. A lot of distractions popped up via jagged edges, which abounded during wider shots. They showed up at other times but caused the biggest issues when the camera was farther away from its subject. Shimmering was less of a concern, and I noticed only a bit of edge enhancement. Source flaws seemed absent, though video artifacting popped up during interior shots.

Colors stayed natural and depicted what occurred during the shoots. The hues looked about the way I’d expect from a videotaped program: reasonably distinctive but not especially lively. The colors could be blown-out and didn’t often seem terribly vivid. Blacks also were erratic, as some shots showed pretty deep dark tones but others were inkier. Shadow detail depended entirely on the shooting conditions and usually was moderately weak. Overall, the program suffered from a mix of flaws, and I thought it looked mostly average for this sort of piece.

As for the stereo soundtrack of Girls of World Soccer, it offered an average piece. All the effects and most speech came from the source recordings. This left them as ordinary. Neither was problematic, but neither seemed strong either. Music seemed better but not memorable. The tracks were reasonably vivid and lively, though never particularly dynamic.

Not surprisingly, the soundfield offered a low-key affair. As far as I could tell, all speech and effects remained monaural, though some poor localization occurred. On a few occasions, dialogue moved awkwardly and sloppily to the side speakers. The music showed nice stereo definition, though, and spread smoothly to the side speakers. Ultimately, there wasn’t much to this soundtrack. That didn’t come as a surprise, though, and I felt it merited a “C”.

Unfortunately, Soccer came with absolutely no extras. Given the package’s bargain price, that didn’t come as a great surprise, but it’s too bad. Surely we could get lots of bonus footage of the 14 models.

With so many attractive women on display, Playboy’s Girls of World Soccer should offer satisfying visuals for most guys. I’m not wild about the rapidity with which we zoom through them, and the format can become a little awkward, but we get a pretty solid sampler. Unfortunately, the DVD suffers from weak picture quality, mediocre audio and no supplements. I recommend it to Playboy fans due mainly to the low list price, but it’s not one of their best releases.